Marriage Counseling2024-03-11T16:03:50-07:00

Marriage Counselor Newport Beach, CA

“Your task is not to seek for love, but find the barriers within yourself you have built against it.” – Rumi

No Longer In Love?

“I love you, but I’m no longer in love with you.”

Has your spouse announced that he or she doesn’t love you anymore, or have you said the same to your spouse? These words are so painful to hear, and yet this happens more often than you would ever imagine! Feelings shift over time. Couples go through rough patches causing you to wonder, “Is this the end of our relationship, or is it simply a temporary reaction to a stressful situation like a midlife crisis?” When emotions run high, it can be difficult to think clearly, let alone have productive conversations. It is natural to question your connection from time to time. If it feels like you or the one you love has lost that lovin’ feeling, it is important to discern if it is just a temporary set-back, or if the relationship can be recovered. If you have arrived at this place, know you are not alone. Maybe it’s time for a relational reboot. This does not have to signal the end. It could be the foundation for a new beginning.

Relational Challenges
Marriage Counseling Newport Beach CA

Infidelity

Infidelity is one of the most difficult challenges a couple can face, because it breaks the bonds of trust. Once broken, those bonds are very difficult to repair.

If you’ve discovered your partner is having an affair, it’s natural to feel devastated. Perhaps you have suspected it for a while, or maybe it’s a complete shock.

If you’re the unfaithful spouse, perhaps the initial excitement of the affair has worn off, leaving you guilty and fearful of the impending consequences. Maybe your partner has discovered that you’re cheating. Or maybe you’re in an affair but desperate to end it, and longing to reconnect with your spouse but aren’t quite sure how.

Ultimately affairs cause pain to everyone involved. If managed well, however, you can work through this and even strengthen your connection. Working through an affair often results in a sense of urgency which compels relational transformation. Science teaches us that people can and do change when the impetus to do so is stronger than the pull to remain the same.

People often are under the mistaken assumption that if you love someone you would never have an affair. Time and time again I have seen that this is not the case. There are so many factors that contribute to affair engagement. Life is complicated, so are human beings. There are many types of situations that are catalysts for betrayal. It’s not as simply as not loving someone.

Read More About Affairs and Recovery

Contemplating Divorce?

Has your spouse recently announced that they would like a Divorce? Have you announced to your spouse that you are done, but now you are not sure? Sometimes it can feel like a relationship is sliding out of control and you are not sure how to bring it back. This can happen in longer-term relationships more often than you think. Reaching this point can cause you to seriously question your sanity and your future. 

The D-Word is not something to be thrown out in anger. Creating a plan for your future needs to be well-thought out. Often there are underlying things that haven’t been addressed in years that when successfully talked about can end up saving a marriage. And, as you dive in more deeply, you could both decide that it’s time to go your separate ways. Either way, it is important for you to weigh out your options, your feelings, your state of mind, the state of your relationship and consider what you would like your future to look like.  

Bottom Line: Divorce is something not to be taken lightly. Staying married or getting divorced is a choice that needs to be made mindfully. If you or your spouse have been wondering, let’s talk. I can help you gain the clarity you need to make the best choices possible for all concerned.

Learn More About My Services

(949) 244-3310

Couples Counselor Newport Beach CA

Marriage Counseling FAQs

What does marriage counseling / coaching consist of?2022-03-30T13:55:50-07:00

Marriage coaching or couples counseling is a process that focuses on the couple in an effort to improve their relationship and lessen conflict. It is an interactive process where the relational partners learn how to adapt their communication style to the deeper needs of their partner. 

Dr. Michele works to get to know each member of the relationship individually. This helps her understand the deeper needs of each person and facilitate greater understanding within the couples sessions. 

How long does it take? How many sessions do you recommend for couples coaching / counseling? 

That’s a great question! The truth is the amount of time we spend together is tailored to the needs of each couple. When first engaging with a couple and this question arises, I tell them to plan on a minimum of 3 to 6 months. This gives us time to dive into some of the underlying issues and determine the best course of action moving forward. 

Sometimes there is a specific issue that a couple is coming to couples therapy to resolve. These sessions tend to be more directive in that they focus on resolving a stated concern. The amount of time for this type of work tends to be less than when a couple comes in with a bigger challenge. Sometimes a few sessions can be enough to work through things. I have had couples work through a pressing issue in just a single (2-hour) session. 

Other times a couple may want to discern whether to stay in the marriage or go their separate ways. To help a couple decide what is best we engage in a Discernment process where we take a look at the marriage / relationship, where it is, where it has been, and the potentially shifting needs of each person. This part of relationship counseling helps a couple clarify what they want moving forward and discover if each of them is willing / able to take their relationship to the next level as they prepare to move into the future. 

Infidelity Recovery generally requires a minimum 6-month commitment. Similar to the Discernment process, we dive into the marriage trajectory, and we also work on rebuilding trust, healing the trauma of betrayal, setting self-supportive boundaries, and creating a new plan for the future. INFC involves each person taking a deeper look at what they want, and what they are willing to do / not do to rebuild connection.

How many sessions is marriage counseling?2021-09-17T12:01:17-07:00

That’s a great question! There isn’t a specific answer to your question because it varies from couple to couple. Some couples may only need a handful of sessions to work through an issue, while others find it helpful to their marriage to have ongoing sessions for years. If you are working through something, we suggest that you come in for a session or two, see how it is going and then we can collectively figure out what would work best for your marriage.

When should you seek marriage counseling / coaching?2021-09-24T13:22:41-07:00

Each couple has adaptive patterns that they have created over time. While some are in support of the couple, many are not. These patterns can be difficult to work through on your own as they start to take on a life of their own! 

Here are a few questions to help you decide:

  • Have you been feeling increasing resentment toward your partner lately?
  • Have you noticed that the two of you are arguing more frequently over the “little things”?
  • Do you find it increasingly more difficult to get your point across without arguing?
  • Are you listening to your partner to defend / justify your position, or are you listening with a curious, open-heart? 
  • How are your listening skills? Do you find yourself listening to understand or simply to defend your position?
  • How are you handling things that bother you? Do you swallow your needs / wants / desires in an effort to not “rock the boat”? 
  • Does your partner seem to be growing less interested in what you have to say?
  • Are you setting aside quality time to connect on a regular basis (without kids, friends, etc.)?
  • How are things in the sex and intimacy department? (While sexual desire can fluctuate, are you experiencing less and less desire -from one or both of you – on a more frequent basis?)
  • Do you find yourself “noticing” / enjoying attention you receive from other potential partners, or feel that others are more interested / interesting than your partner? 
  • Do you give your partner the “benefit of the doubt” or are you more inclined to believe their intentions are not in your best interest?

As you review this list, think about the current state of your relationship. If you find that your attention is wandering, or more discontent than content, or have specific concerns that stand out, this may be a great time to reach out for some help. 

The best athletes work hard, AND they have effective coaches to assist them in moving into greater levels of mastery. Your relational partnership is one of the most important relationships in your life. If you desire greater connection, intimacy and mastery in this important relationship, engaging an effective coach / counselor can be one of the smartest decisions you make.  

Whether you desire to take your relationship from Good to Great, need a little tune-up, or are recognizing your relationship is in trouble, working with a skilled professional can offer you the insight you need to more fully enjoy your partnership and dive more deeply into a meaningful and purposeful life as individuals and as a couple.

About Dr. Jeanne Michele

Dr. Michele is a marriage specialist based in Newport Beach, CA. She is passionate about healing marriages and relationship issues of couples who are struggling with marriage problems. The stress, anxiety, and overall experience of marital issues can be overwhelming for the individual and Dr. Michele does a wonderful job of making sure each individual in a relationship is heard and understood. She seeks to address the whole person and understands the stress, fear, anxiety, and even depression that marriage issues or divorce can have on a family. Sometimes even the prospect of couples counseling can cause anxiety. Dr. Michele will make you feel right at home and even offers online counseling to help accommodate scheduling. Dr. Michele also offers premarital counseling and other types of relationship counseling including infidelity counseling for couples who have gone through an affair.

Living & Loving Courageous Inspirations

10 Simple Practices Strenghthen Your Relationship Today By Dr Jeanne Michele

Ideas, Tools & Resources to inspire you to Live and Love with more Courage, Passion and Heart.

Loving well is an Art & a Science. It takes Commitment, Curiosity, and Courage to create a Dynamic, Loving Relationship. Dr. Jeanne’s ebook is filled with practical tips and ideas to help you focus on what’s truly important to create relationships that thrive.

Get your COMPLIMENTARY copy of Dr. Jeanne’s ebook today:

10 Simple Practices You Can Begin TODAY to Strengthen Your Relationship

We value your privacy. Your information is not shared with any other company or individual. Our privacy policy is detailed below.

Request to Join Our Facebook Community

We would love to hear from you!

Go to Top