Marriage coaching or couples counseling is a process that focuses on the couple in an effort to improve their relationship and lessen conflict. It is an interactive process where the relational partners learn how to adapt their communication style to the deeper needs of their partner.
Dr. Michele works to get to know each member of the relationship individually. This helps her understand the deeper needs of each person and facilitate greater understanding within the couples sessions.
How long does it take? How many sessions do you recommend for couples coaching / counseling?
That’s a great question! The truth is the amount of time we spend together is tailored to the needs of each couple. When first engaging with a couple and this question arises, I tell them to plan on a minimum of 3 to 6 months. This gives us time to dive into some of the underlying issues and determine the best course of action moving forward.
Sometimes there is a specific issue that a couple is coming to couples therapy to resolve. These sessions tend to be more directive in that they focus on resolving a stated concern. The amount of time for this type of work tends to be less than when a couple comes in with a bigger challenge. Sometimes a few sessions can be enough to work through things. I have had couples work through a pressing issue in just a single (2-hour) session.
Other times a couple may want to discern whether to stay in the marriage or go their separate ways. To help a couple decide what is best we engage in a Discernment process where we take a look at the marriage / relationship, where it is, where it has been, and the potentially shifting needs of each person. This part of relationship counseling helps a couple clarify what they want moving forward and discover if each of them is willing / able to take their relationship to the next level as they prepare to move into the future.
Infidelity Recovery generally requires a minimum 6-month commitment. Similar to the Discernment process, we dive into the marriage trajectory, and we also work on rebuilding trust, healing the trauma of betrayal, setting self-supportive boundaries, and creating a new plan for the future. INFC involves each person taking a deeper look at what they want, and what they are willing to do / not do to rebuild connection.