“Let love be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.”
– John O’Donohue
Relationship Stages
Love is a mystery. We can spend a life time trying to understand it; capture it; hold onto it; make sense of it. And there is a part of love that will eternally hold mystery. While there are specific stages that loving someone moves through, a part of being in love is honoring the mystery of how it touches and moves through your heart.
It can be helpful to look at the specific stages that love’s journey takes a couple through. Each stage has its inherent challenges and joys that are somewhat predictable and natural. Understanding these stages, and learning how to navigate your specific stage, can help alleviate relational anxiety, and bring you back to center. When you are feeling disconnected, anxious, and out of sync, it may be a sign that you have developed some ineffective relational patterns that may be keeping you stuck in a specific stage.
Combining Lives
If both you and your spouse have been in previous relationships and have decided to make a new life together, congratulations. You may be dealing with the pressures of a blended family, you may be childless, or you may be “empty nesters.” Whatever your living situation, coming together as a couple can have its own unique challenges. Let’s take a look at the relational stages a couple goes through.
As you connect with your current partner, it’s wise to keep in mind that negative experiences from previous relationships can come back to haunt you. Even the best of couples have difficulty now and then.
- Increased arguing or feelings of relational discontent
This is one of the major reasons couples begin to recognize they might be in trouble. If you’re finding yourself arguing more with your partner over even “little things,” if small disagreements become blown out of proportion on a continual basis, it’s time to seek help. Dr. Jeanne can help you figure out what’s really going on, to get to the heart of the matter so that disagreements don’t become knock down drag outs, and shorten your recovery from upset. You can move learn ways of resolving disputes that result on resolution instead of disconnection. - Wondering if you’re still in love with your partner?
Do you find yourself wondering “what might have been” with an old flame – not just occasionally and nostalgically, but often? Do you question whether you’re still in love with your partner? Or, conversely, do you wonder if your partner has fallen out of love with you (even if he or she says otherwise)?
Projecting The Past Onto The Present
Your current partner is not the cause of what’s happened to you in the past. Often, we unknowingly bring our past into our present relationship. We each carry unresolved issues from our past into our current relationship, quite often without realizing it.
you’re not careful, you could blame him or her unfairly, and cause an entirely new and vicious cycle to start up, repeating past unhealthy patterns.
Why are you here? What disappointments do you carry with you? Do you have healing to do? If so, realize that this is your work to do – perhaps with your spouse, to be sure, but perhaps not.
What are your expectations? Do you think that this is going to be the “perfect” relationship you’ve always wanted? If so, you’re likely to be disappointed.
- Lack of Communication
“Not communicating” can look benign on the surface, but it can signal real trouble if stony silence is the order of the day. It’s true that men and women do communicate differently, but it’s still necessary to talk about current stresses, what’s bothering you, or what you each need and want from your relationship.Lack of communication can lead to neglect, and neglect can lead to the demise of your relationship. Dr. Jeanne can help you develop a plan that will honor the uniqueness you each bring to the relationship, building respect between you as you figure out how you each best communicate. When troubles do happen, trust, openness, and a willingness to work together can resolve them.
Learn to Love Yourself
You can’t love someone else with your whole heart and soul when you haven’t yet figured out how to love yourself. Dr. Jeanne can help you learn how to do just that. When you love, embrace and take care of yourself, you create the environment for healthy love to grow.
Other Common Issues
- Couples Who Work Together
Couples who work together, especially those who are running a business together, are presented with some unique challenges. The lines between work life and home life can easily become blurred, resulting in a decrease in intimacy and couple time. Conflicts which erupt at work can impact home life and vice versa. Working through these challenges can strengthen your connection and ultimately result in more powerful ways of working, living and loving together. Dr. Jeanne’s strong corporate background and work with couples who work together, makes her uniquely qualified to structure work / life balance and help you effectively sort through the special challenges you face as a couple building a business and a life together. - Temptation and Infidelity
If you finding that someone outside of your marriage partnership is occupying a lot of space in your brain, or you have begun “crossing the line”, or are experiencing infidelity in any of its forms, or other Love Crises, there is help and hope. Couples in crisis can learn to rebuild their relationships in ways they may have never dreamed possible.
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Living & Loving Courageous Inspirations
Ideas, Tools & Resources to inspire you to Live and Love with more Courage, Passion and Heart.
Loving well is an Art & a Science. It takes Commitment, Curiosity, and Courage to create a Dynamic, Loving Relationship. Dr. Jeanne’s ebook is filled with practical tips and ideas to help you focus on what’s truly important to create relationships that thrive.
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