Each couple has adaptive patterns that they have created over time. While some are in support of the couple, many are not. These patterns can be difficult to work through on your own as they start to take on a life of their own! 

Here are a few questions to help you decide:

  • Have you been feeling increasing resentment toward your partner lately?
  • Have you noticed that the two of you are arguing more frequently over the “little things”?
  • Do you find it increasingly more difficult to get your point across without arguing?
  • Are you listening to your partner to defend / justify your position, or are you listening with a curious, open-heart? 
  • How are your listening skills? Do you find yourself listening to understand or simply to defend your position?
  • How are you handling things that bother you? Do you swallow your needs / wants / desires in an effort to not “rock the boat”? 
  • Does your partner seem to be growing less interested in what you have to say?
  • Are you setting aside quality time to connect on a regular basis (without kids, friends, etc.)?
  • How are things in the sex and intimacy department? (While sexual desire can fluctuate, are you experiencing less and less desire -from one or both of you – on a more frequent basis?)
  • Do you find yourself “noticing” / enjoying attention you receive from other potential partners, or feel that others are more interested / interesting than your partner? 
  • Do you give your partner the “benefit of the doubt” or are you more inclined to believe their intentions are not in your best interest?

As you review this list, think about the current state of your relationship. If you find that your attention is wandering, or more discontent than content, or have specific concerns that stand out, this may be a great time to reach out for some help. 

The best athletes work hard, AND they have effective coaches to assist them in moving into greater levels of mastery. Your relational partnership is one of the most important relationships in your life. If you desire greater connection, intimacy and mastery in this important relationship, engaging an effective coach / counselor can be one of the smartest decisions you make.  

Whether you desire to take your relationship from Good to Great, need a little tune-up, or are recognizing your relationship is in trouble, working with a skilled professional can offer you the insight you need to more fully enjoy your partnership and dive more deeply into a meaningful and purposeful life as individuals and as a couple.