Welcome to the 2020 Holidays! A Season Like No Other!

How can we open our hearts to new ways to honor the season and each other?

The pandemic, and this country’s social unrest, have put what we say we stand for up for grabs. We have discovered that under intense pressure, perhaps we fare no better than the rest of the world. In some ways 2020 has been the great equalizer. No nation, people, religion, community is immune from the intensity of its reign. And it has highlighted places of inequality and division in our world. We have witnessed the disproportionate impact the pandemic is having on people of color and people living below the poverty line, and many prejudices woven into the fabric of our history.

Like the swatting of a hornet’s nest, the structures we have relied upon have been hit hard, leaving us frenetically encircling what we once called home. 2020 has left us frantically searching for fragments of the puzzle pieces of our former lives. And like a fallen Humpty Dumpty, try as we might, we simply cannot put things back together in the same way.

What once was is no more. We need to begin the process of reconstruction; to start redefining and rebuilding home. And, what better time to begin than during the Holiday Season.

True, this season will be unlike any that have come before it. Celebrations will most assuredly put our creativity to the test as we find new ways to remember and connect with those we love. In the depth of sorrow lie tiny pearls of wisdom waiting to be discovered. Some years you have to dig a little deeper to unearth them. 2020 is definitely one of those years.

So, how do we honor the unique opportunities offered to us in 2020? Perhaps 2020 is begging us to Dig Deeper. Thanksgiving is traditionally a time when we consider what we are grateful for. How can we take that to heart in new ways?

For many of us family celebrations will be limited this year. What other ways can we reach out, honor and connect with those we love, and those who have touched our lives? How can we create more intimacy, when we may not be able to hug, touch or be with some of the people we love in person?

Sharing Stories Deepens Connection

I invite you, and your kids, or whomever is in your household, to embark upon an adventure of discovery this year. How about if each person was responsible for sharing a story about one or more persons who have deeply touched their life? Or perhaps doing some research into family lineage and share a story about an ancestor from long ago. Ancestry.comoffers ways to research and build family trees.

Perhaps you begin story sharing on Thanksgiving and carry this through the holiday season? Maybe set aside one day each week (many people designate Sundays as family days) and each person takes a turn sharing a story about someone who has made an impact on their lives. As you share and listen to these stories, I invite you to be fully present. Cell phones put away. Television turned off. Make this a time of family sharing and connection.

If the person is still living, and not able to be with you over the holidays, take time to also share the memory with them. Let this be a year of deepening relationships through conversation and allowing those we love who have passed to live on through sharing their stories.

Gratitude in a Jar

Another idea is to create a Gratitude Jar. Have each person write one thing they are grateful for each day, and add it to the jar. On Christmas, New Year’s Day, or another day of your choosing, sit together, and each have each person close their eyes and pull a gratitude out of the jar and read it aloud. You can include family members out of town as well, via zoom or a conference call, and have everyone take turns reading their gratitudes together.

Creativity Draws us Together

How about letting the little kid in you out to play? Pull out the markers, dust off a creative project that you put on a shelf in the closet. Order colored pencils, crayons, playdough from Amazon. Visit Michaels and purchase some materials there. Draw. Paint. Sculpt. Mold. Sit down and make something with your kids. Challenge them to use objects that they find outside or something they already have in the house. Design a Garden. Plant flowers. Let your creativity flow. And remember, it is more about the process than the finished product. Take care not to judge your creations!

Let’s make this year more about Presence than Presents.

· What if those of us with more joy, share with those of us struggling with sadness and loss; neighbors unable to be with family and friends?

· What if those of us who can see the gift in the midst of the chaos, reach out to those of us who seem lost, and shared a gratitude, or a meaningful story?

· What if we invite someone to share a story or a memory with us and we simply listened? With all the distractions that grab our attention these days, Authentic Listening has become more rare. Being curious about someone else’s life and story, can help ease some of their burdens and help bring a little extra joy into their world.

· What if instead of something we post on our Social Media pages, we really practice the idea of, “We are all in this together.” and treat each other that way?

· What if we offer a little blessing to the people we encounter in the grocery stores, the ones we pass in the parking lot, or even the person in the car next to us at a stop light?

· What if we slow down a little this year and instead of focusing on what we don’t have, devoted some time to focusing on what we do have?

· What if we vow to pray just a little more? Praying, in whatever form works for you, transforms hearts, in both the Prayer and the Prayed For. It is like sending good wishes through the ethers from one heart to another. Focused prayer fosters intimacy, and many studies indicate the positive impact it can have on healing as well (more on this in an upcoming blog!) Praying is like sending out a ray of peace and calm to help soothe whatever is occurring in the outer world.

· What if when we are stuck we ask someone to pray for us? We all get stuck from time to time. Sometimes it is difficult to climb out of our stuckness on our own. Asking can be just as powerful as giving as it offers someone else the opportunity to give to us. Giving and receiving are different sides of the same coin. Receiving well is a gift you return to the Giver.

As we enter into the Holiday Season of a year of that has shone light on so much brokenness and heartache; perhaps we can muster up the courage to extend a little extra kindness; to offer a few extra prayers, to reach out when we are feeling isolated or lonely. Perhaps this holiday season we can begin the process of rebuilding our trust; trust in ourselves; trust in those we love; trust in our neighbors; and trust in the inherent goodness of humanity.

And maybe, one day, we will be able to look back on 2020, as the year that gave us the ability to see more clearly, and listen more patiently.Perhaps we will see this as the year that we took on the challenge to learn more about races, cultures and ideologies that differ from our own; the year we surrendered more, and controlled less.

Maybe this will be the year we decide to offer understanding instead of judgement; to honor our similarities and embrace the value in our differences. Maybe we will see this as the year we chose to extend more kindness, plant more flowers, and extend more compassion.

Perhaps as we enter this Holiday Season, we can do so with an eye to how we want to look back on this time in years to come. Let this be the year that ignites our faith, deepens out commitment to our values, and activates a deeper reverence for life itself. Maybe this can be not just the year that took us to our knees, but the year that reminded us of the true meaning of the Holiday Season.

May Grace & Gratitude overflow for you this year as you build new traditions, honor the past, and remember to cherish those you love here and beyond.

Peace, Love & Blessings,

Dr. J